I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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