I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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