I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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