Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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