Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
