When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
