Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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