but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
