Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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