carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
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so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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