didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
