she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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