from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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