i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
