Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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