Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
