I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
