your room smells of hookers.
And success
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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