Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
