i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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