she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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