I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize