did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
