I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
