the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
