Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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