youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
