sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
