So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
