I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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