he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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