the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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