i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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