We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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