i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
