is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
