So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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