he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
