I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
