Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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