Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Girls should come with a carfax report
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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