can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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