No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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