My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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