My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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