Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
