they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
