He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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