I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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