Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
one two three fourrrrnication!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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