yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We left the knife in your bed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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