you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
