Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's blow job season.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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