Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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