you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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