I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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