so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Randomize
