So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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