Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They are going to name an STD after you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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